In the previous section, Paul commanded Christians to allow themselves to be filled (or controlled) by the Spirit. He listed five evidences of that filling: verbal praise, vocal praise, internal praise, thankfulness, and a submissive spirit.

Beginning with v.22, Paul tells us that Spirit-filled submission will be evidenced as wives complete their husbands, husbands love their wives, children obey their parents, and servants obey their masters.

Transition

This evening we are going to examine the evidence of submission in a Spirit-filled wife.

She Will Gladly Submit Her Husband, v.22

  1. She will submit herself to him
    1. Submit means to be arranged under another, and thus to subject, to yield, to obey. This has nothing at all to do with intelligence, self-worth, or strength. God is not asking wives to be second-class slaves. God is simply telling you to submit to your husband’s leadership.
    2. The verb is an imperative or command.
    3. The verb is also in the middle voice meaning that the wife must arrange herself under her husband voluntarily.
    4. Submission is both an attitude and an action, but if the attitude is not right, the action can only be mechanical.This is like the boy that was told to sit down when he wanted to stand up. He finally submitted but he said “I am sit’n on in outside, but I’m stand’n on the inside.”
    5. At the end of the chapter, God calls the wife’s submission, reverence, or respect.Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
  2. She will submit as unto the Lord
    1. Here we see the nature of her submission.
    2. Many wives that claim to submit to their husbands really control them in hidden ways. They manipulate their husbands to get what they want.Walter Fremont states that wives often control by scheduling, spending, sex, sickness, sobbing, spirituality, silence, and by suicide or divorce threats. Formula for Family Unity, p. 41-43

      Andrew Malphurs says that wives get their husbands to do things their way by demanding, criticizing, quarrelling, advising, silence, being super sweet, or being a doormat. Biblical Manhood and Womanhood p. 121

    3. Christians are to arrange ourselves under the Lord by a humble attitude, by respectful words, in obedience, in proving all things by His standard, by following His leadership, by serving Him, by seeking to please Him.
    4. A Spirit-filled wife will arrange herself under her husband just as she does unto the Lord: by a humble attitude, speaking respectfully to him and about him, obeying his decisions, following his leadership, by being his completer, and seeking to please him. She will be his loyal teammate. She will support him and pray for him. She will encourage him. She will keep her heart for him only.
    5. The wife that does not truly submit to the Lord will not be able to submit fully to her husband.
  3. Submission is an evidence of a Spirit-filled wife
    1. Submission to a husband has been against a woman’s nature since Eve sinned in the garden. Wives need the Holy Spirit’s power to submit biblically.Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
    2. When you allow the Holy Spirit to take complete control of your life, He will enable you to be submissive.

She Will Accept Her Husband as Her Leader, v.23

  1. God has placed her husband as her head.
    1. This is the grounds for her submission to him.
    2. Headship is God’s idea not man’s.1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
    3. Not only is Christ the head of the church (the leader, the director) but He is also its Saviour.
    4. Headship carries responsibility and accountability. Being the head has duties for which God will hold us accountable. Good leaders will delegate, but they always inspect what they expect.
  2. A Spirit-filled wife will follow her husband
    1. She will be his completer so he can lead.
    2. She will support his leadership.
    3. She will praise his leadership.
    4. She will pray for his leadership, especially if it is lacking.
  3. Allowing the husband to lead is an evidence of Spirit-filled wife.

She Will Submit to Her Husband in Everything, v.24

  1. She will not limit her submission
    1. This speaks of the extent of her submission.
    2. The local church has not right to tell the Lord how to do things. God ordained that Christ be our head. Christ gave Himself to save us. Though the husband is not as perfect as Christ is, the wife is to submit to him just as the church submits to Christ – in every area of life.
    3. The Spirit-filled wife does not just let her husband lead in finances and yard work, but in child discipline, church attendance, clothing choices, hair styles, recreation, entertainment, and in every other area.Ladies, your husband may not always make the right leadership choices, but he answers to God for that not you. You answer to God for how you follow your husband’s leadership.
    4. Does this mean a wife should sin or break the law to obey her husband? Because God tells the wife to follow the example of the church’s submission to Christ, I think we can confidently say that “every thing” does not include sin because Christ would never ask the church to sin. Every individual will give account of himself to God.Romans 14:12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
  2. By submitting in every area, you are helping your husband.
    1. You are encouraging him to submit to the duties God has given him (Eph 5:25-33). Marriage is teamwork. You two are one flesh (Gen 2:24). Two cannot walk together if they do not agree (Amos 3:3).
    2. When your husband disobeys God’s word, if you cheerfully submit, you are enabling God to do a work in your husband’s heart.1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation [conduct, manner of life] of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
  3. You cannot be a Spirit-filled wife if you do not submit to your husband.
    1. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God is an evidence of the Holy Spirit’s filling.
    2. If you refuse to submit to your husband in any area, it is evidence that you are not controlled by the Holy Spirit.

Conclusion

Let’s review! A Spirit-filled wife will gladly submit to her husband. She will accept her husband as her head or leader. She will submit to him in everything.

Wives, have you been submitting biblically to your husband? If not, the Holy Spirit is not controlling your life. You will struggle with victory over sin. You will lack the fruits of the Spirit in your life. Submitting to your husband begins with submitting to God. You need the Holy Spirit to help you submit to your husband. Perhaps you need to get alone with God and truly follow James’ victory steps (James 4:7-10).

Men, you can help your wife submit to you by submitting to your duties as a husband as we will see next week.

Song: I Surrender All – 394
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Spirit-Filled Wives
25 May 2014 – Ephesians 5:22-24 – Eph 14 – Scott Childs