We learned in Ephesians 5:21 that submitting is an evidence that the Holy Spirit is in control of one’s life. In the last two weeks, we saw how this applies to wives and husbands. Now we are going to see how it applies to children. God knows that children struggle to submit in the area of obeying and honouring their parents.

Transition

For children who are Christians and walking close to God, the Holy Spirit will help them submit to their parents in these areas.

He Will Help Them Obey Their Parents

  1. Spirit-filled children will submit themselves
    1. The word children includes all offspring that are still under the care of their parents or guardians.
    2. To obey is to listen and respond in submission.
      1. God placed obedience before worship.1 Samuel 15:22 And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
      2. True obedience comes from the heartProverbs 3:1 My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

        Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

      3. When the Holy Spirit is controlling a Christian child’s heart, He helps them see the wisdom of obedience.Proverbs 6:20-23 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
      4. Even Jesus obeyed his parentsLuke 2:51-52 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
      5. Obedience pleases the Lord.Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
    3. Disobedience is rebellion against both parents and God.
      1. Disobedience greatly displeases the Lord and leads to a life of trouble.Proverbs 30:17 The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.
      2. God lists disobedience with the vile sins of wicked society.Romans 1:30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

        2 Timothy 3:2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

  2. Spirit-filled children will obey in the Lord
    1. The phrase in the Lord is the motivation because the Lord commanded it and we ought to fear Him.Hodge states, “It should be religious; arising out of the conviction that such obedience is the will of the Lord.”
    2. This phrase may also limit the obedience to what God says is right.Acts 5:29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.
  3. Spirit-filled children will obey because it is right
    1. It is right because God commanded it.
    2. It is right because children owe a debt of gratitude to their parents for what they have done for them. The parent, by his age and experience, ought to be qualified to direct and guide a child.
    3. It is right because obedience is for the good of the children themselves (they are not yet competent), and for the welfare of society. Children who do not learn to obey at home will be unsubmissive to leadership the rest of their lives.
    4. It is right because the good order of a family depends on it, and family government is to imitate God’s government. Some of the above is from Barnes Notes

He Will Help Them Honour Their Parents

  1. They will show honour as God commanded
    1. The word honour means to fix a value, to honour, to revere. It is to treat with respect.
    2. This is one of God’s Ten Commandments.Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
    3. God promises that honouring your parents will give you a better and longer life, v.3.
    4. Here are some ways you can dishonour your parents.
      1. By disobeying them
      2. By arguing with them
      3. By pouting when they say “No”
      4. By saying bad things about them
    5. Here are some ways you can honour your parents.
      1. Cheerfully obey the first time you are told.
      2. Talk to them with respect: “Yes Mama”, “Yes Sir”.
      3. Say good things about them.
      4. Thank God for them.
      5. Help them without being asked.
      6. Do your duties without being reminded.
      7. Hug them and tell them you love them.
  2. They will show honour even when parents fail
    1. Did you notice that God did not say, obey and honour your parents when they are good parents? God wants you to obey and honour your parents even when they mess up.
    2. God puts a word in here to fathers because he knows that fathers often do things they should not do that provoke their children to anger, v.4.
      1. This verse commands dad not to provoke their children. He is not talking about upsetting the child by not giving him candy. He is talking about mistakes that dads make that irritate their children.
      2. Provoking mistakes include: disciplining in anger, being too busy for them, criticising them unjustly, setting too high of expectations, comparing them with others, speaking harshly to them, unkind teasing, laughing at them, embarrassing them, and calling them names.
      3. Instead of provoking your children, you are to bring them up in God’s kind of nurture and admonition.
        1. Nurture is the whole training and education of the child, including chastening when the do wrong.
        2. Admonition is instruction, warning, or moral appeal that leads to change.
      4. God will hold fathers (and mothers) accountable for their failures in these areas.
    3. Children, even if your dad or mum do wrong things that provoke you or they fail to train you biblically, God still commands you to obey and honour them. Their wrong may make it harder for you to obey and honour them, but if you are walking in the Spirit, He will help you.

Conclusion

Children, God knows that you naturally struggle to obey and honour your parents, but if you will keep a close walk with God and let the Holy Spirit control your life, He will help you.

If you have not been obeying and honouring your parents, you need to confess that sin to God and then to your parents. Ask them to forgive you. Then talk to God about the specific ways in which you have disobeyed and dishonoured and depend on Him for help to change.

Song: Victory in Jesus – 496
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Spirit-filled Children
8 June 2014 PM – Ephesians 6:1-4 – Eph 14 – Scott Childs