Down south near Dwellingup there is a one-lane bridge. Before the bridge there is a Give Way sign. If another car is crossing the bridge, your car must give way. There is not room for two cars at once.

Peter mentions the “Give Way” principle several times in his first epistle. In 1Pe 2:13, he wrote that we are to submit (give way) to government leaders. In 1Pe 2:18, he wrote that we are to submit (give way) to mistreatment. Peter begins chapter three with the word “likewise” which means in the same manner. In the same manner as residents are to submit to the government and Christians are to submit to mistreatment, so wives are to submit to their own husbands.

Transition

Peter describes the wife’s submission in three ways that enable wives today to know how to be God-pleasing wives.

Peter first describes …

The Faith of a Wife’s Submission (v.1 & v.6)

  1. Obedience to this command is based on faith (v.1)
    1. Submission goes against our sinful nature. Whether you are a wife, a resident, or a servant submission is allowing yourself to be arranged under another. That is humbling. Submission in no way means the wife is less important, less godly, less intelligent, or weak. It simply means that she is giving way to her husband’s leadership.
    2. God here commanded that wives submit to their husbands. They must let their husbands lead and seek to be his completer. This command is repeated in Ephesians 5:22-24 and Colossians 3:18.
    3. God’s command for wives to submit reveals several important facts.
      1. First, before a man and woman live together, God demands that they be married. No matter what the world says, God says that ALL sex outside the bounds of marriage is sin. (Hebrews 13:4) Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (1 Corinthians 7:2) Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. No Christian can be right with God who participates in sex outside of marriage or condones it in others.
      2. Wives cannot choose whether they submit to their husband or not. God commands it. It may not make sense to a wife, but to be right with God she must obey this command by faith.
      3. Submission to your husband is not degrading. It is simply allowing him to be the lead. It is giving way to his leadership. A wife who argues with her husband, ignores his requests, pouts or shuns him to get her own way, or makes his life so miserable that he caves in to her wishes, is not a submissive wife.
      4. God will hold the husband responsible. He will answer to God for his leadership in the marriage.
  2. Fearlessness is based on faith (v.6)
    1. The wife who by faith submits to her husband is not afraid with any amazement (terror).
    2. Like Sarah, she conducts herself in a godly submissive manner and leaves the results in the hands of the Lord. She knows that God will deal with her husband if he takes advantage of her submission or leads in a bad way.
      Peter next describes …

The Benefit of a Wife’s Submission (v.1)

  1. Her husband will see her godly submission (v.1).
    1. A wife’s humble, godly submission will not go unnoticed. Even the most demanding husband will notice when his wife is humbly submissive. Your husband will see your humble submission most clearly in your conversation (conduct, or way of life) – including your words, attitudes, and actions.
    2. God will also see your godly submission to your husband. God will bless your obedience in this area.
  2. Her godly submission will help her husband (v.1)
    1. Peter highlights the fact that some husbands “obey not the word.” The word translated “obey” means to refuse to believe or obey. Some husbands do not allow themselves to be persuaded by God’s Word. This may mean that they are unsaved. It could mean that they are carnal Christians that are not obeying God’s Word.
    2. God tells wives that if their husband refuses to obey God’s Word, he may be won (gained to Christ’s favour) by her conversation (conduct, or way of life).
    3. The phrase “without the word” speaks of a word to intervene. It probably refers to the wife’s verbal persuasions. Men usually view this as nagging.
      ² Aubrey Malphurs in his book Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, suggests the following forms that wives use to control their husbands. He lists, demanding, criticizing, quarrelling, advising, silence, being super sweet, and acting like a doormat. – p. 121 All of these forms of control are wrong.
    4. The way to help your husband get saved or become more godly is to keep your words, attitudes, and actions godly and humbly submissive.
      Peter last describes …

The Method of a Wife’s Submission (v.2-5)

  1. Your conduct reveals your submission (v.2)
    1. The word “behold” means to watch. Your husband is watching you. He is particularly watching your conversation. We have already noted that the word conversation refers to your conduct words, attitudes, and actions.
      1. Submission is part of godly conduct.
      2. Loving your husband is part of godly conduct.
      3. Being discreet or self-controlled is part of godly conduct. Do not allow sinful habits to control you.
      4. Keeping your heart and mind pure and reserved only for your husband is part of godly conduct.
      5. Good housekeeping is part of godly conduct.
      6. In Titus 2, older women are told to teach the young women (Titus 2:4) … to love their husbands, to love their children, (5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
        Married ladies, your husband whether he is obeying God’s Word or not, notices your conduct. If your conduct is chaste, it will make a huge impact on him. The word “chaste” originally meant what awakens awe. TDNT It came to mean pure from every fault. When you are godly and submissive, your husband will see you as awesome. (Proverbs 31:10) Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. (11) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Spoil may refer to other women captured in battle.
  2. Submissive conduct comes from the heart (v.3-4)
    1. The word “adorning” is an important word. The Greek word is kosmos. The word refers to order. It describes the world that God made because of its order. It is used here to describe the order of one’s life or the orderly way you put yourself together.
    2. Peter reminds wives that the way you put yourself together on the outside is not nearly as important as the way you put yourself together on the inside.
      1. That which hides in your heart and is immortal or spiritual is the most important. You can try to be a submissive wife, but if you are not submissive in your heart, your husband will know it.
      2. To have a meek (mild) and quiet spirit in the sight of God is very precious. In other words, it is priceless.
      3. If God can see that your heart is meek, quiet, and submissive, your husband will also see it.

Conclusion

Wives, God commands that you be submissive to your husband’s leadership. By faith trust God. Let him work on your husband. The benefit is that God can save your unsaved husband or make your husband godlier if you are a godly submissive wife. God’s way is for you to order your conduct in a submissive, meek and quiet manner that comes from your heart. To do that, you will need God’s help.

If you are not yet saved, that is what you need first.

Song: Teach Me Thy Way, O Lord – 337
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God-Pleasing Wives
19 July 2015 AM – 1Peter 3:1-6 – 1Pe15 – Scott Childs