God designed marriage to be the most enjoyable, fulfilling, happy union known to mankind. He said that marriage is to be a picture of a Christian’s relationship with Christ. Being a married should not be a pain but a pleasure. It should not be a burden but a blessing.

Every marriage can enjoy this happiness if the husband and the wife fulfil their God-given roles. When addressing the wife (3:1-6), God said she was to perform her role even if her husband refused to obey God’s Word. Now God turns to the husband and describes the role he is to perform with no mention of the wife’s cooperation. God expects both the husband and the wife to perform their role in marriage unilaterally (even if their spouse fails).

Transition

In our text this morning, God addresses the husband’s role by giving him a reminder, two requirements, and a reason.

First, God gives husbands…

A Reminder

  1. The first word in the verse is “likewise”.
    1. “Likewise” means in the same manner.
    2. The previous three sections dealt with submission.
      1. The wife is to submit to her husband (3:1-6).
      2. The servant is to submit to mistreatment (2:18-25).
      3. The citizen is to submit to the government (2:13-17).
    3. Now we read that the husband likewise is to submit.
  2. How does submission apply to the husband?
    1. God does not require husbands to submit to their wives, but they must submit to God’s role for them.
    2. Though difficult to submit, we must allow God to tell us how to treat our wives and then obey His requirements, no matter how our wives may be treating us.

Next, God gives husbands…

Two Requirements

  1. The 1st requirement is to dwell with them according to knowledge.
    1. To do this we must understand the terms.
      1. The word “dwell” means to live together with. In the Bible, it is used of the Holy Spirit dwelling in Christians. This is not just living under the same roof, but sharing and interacting with your wife.
      2. The word “according to” means in accordance with. The way we dwell must line up with what we know.
      3. The word “knowledge” refers to general intelligence or understanding.
      4. God tells us this because though husbands are never truly ignorant of how to dwell with their wives, they are often selfish or self-centred and refuse to do what they know. Being a self-centred husband is not minor weakness that wives must learn to endure. It is a wicked sin that we husbands must confess and change with God’s help.
    2. Husbands are to live together with their wives in accordance with knowledge.
      1. Live with her wisely by doing what you already know. This includes the basic kindnesses of life – Do to others as you want them to do to you (Mat 7:12). It is not macho or manly to treat your wife rudely. Be polite, sweet, gentle, tender, loving, and forgiving. When you do wrong, be man enough to admit it and to ask your wife for forgiveness.
      2. Live with her wisely by gaining God’s wisdom. (James 1:5) If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. The Bible will tell you how God wants you to treat you wife (Read Prov., Song., Eph. 5 and Col. 3). The Bible is God’s map book for marriage. Read His map and ask for directions.
      3. Live with her wisely by studying your wife. Studying your wife is like studying a hobby, there is always something more to learn. Don’t rely on past knowledge. She may change from day to day. Learn her likes and dislikes. Learn her weaknesses. Ask her how you can be a better husband. Learn now to comfort her. Learn how to be sympathetic and empathetic. Be willing to stop things that irritate her.
      4. Live with her wisely by putting into practice the things you learn about her. All too often, our problem is not lack of knowledge but lack of application.
      5. Live with her wisely by leading her spiritually. Be a godly example for her. Put the Lord first in your life. Create a spiritual environment in your home. Seek to help your wife grow spiritually (Eph 5:25-27). Leaders live lives others long to follow.
        God’s 1st requirement is to dwell with our wives according to knowledge.
  2. The 2nd requirement is to give honour to the wife.
    1. Peter uses a word that may be confusing.
      1. The word “honour” speaks of esteem, value, dignity, or worth.
      2. Thus, husbands are to make their wives feel valuable, esteemed, and of great worth.
        1. Praise her in private and in public.
        2. Listen carefully when she speaks to you.
        3. Encourage her input on important decisions.
        4. Value her advice, opinions, and views.
        5. Take her problems and worries seriously.
        6. Thank her for all she does for you and the family.
        7. Put her ahead of your hobbies.
          ² Warren Wiersbe said, “every husband must be a “knight in shining armor” who treats his wife like a princess…The husband should treat his wife like an expensive, beautiful, fragile vase, in which is a precious treasure.”
    2. The Holy Spirit then directed Peter to tell husbands the manner in which they must honour their wives.
      1. First, honour her as a weaker vessel. Wives may not be morally, intellectually, spiritually or even emotionally weaker than their husbands, but, in most cases, they are physically weaker than their husbands. God designed the female body to be that way. Honour her AS a fragile vessel.
        1. Help her with the manual home duties.
        2. Show empathy when she is tired or sick.
        3. Protect her as a priceless fragile vase.
      2. Second, honour her as a joint heir of the grace of life.
        1. You must honour her because you share God’s gift of life. God created her as He did you, in His own image (Gen 1:27).
        2. If you are both Christians, God gave her the same new life in Christ that He gave you (2Co 5:17). She is a joint-heir with Christ just as you are (Rom 8:16-17). Honour her as your equal in the eyes of God.
          ☆ In Ephesians 5:25-28, God gave you the role of improving your wife’s character. If you think your wife is less honourable than she was the day you married her, the change likely reveals a failure on your part.

Last, God gives husbands…

A Reason

  1. If you fail to dwell and honour as God says, your prayers will be hindered
    1. The word “hindered” literally means cut off.
    2. Like a headless chicken, your prayers will be lifeless. Your connection to heaven will be broken. God will not listen to you. He will ignore your requests for help.
  2. Without the ability to pray, you are in big trouble!
    1. Prayer is the Christian’s lifeline to God. You may pray, but you will get no answers, no wisdom, no power, no help, no forgiveness, no mercy, and no guidance.
    2. Without prayer you will shrivel up spiritually into a miserable, carnal, backslidden, hypocrite. This is serious!

Conclusion

Husbands, have you been submitting to God by doing what He expects of you as a husband? Have you been dwelling with your wife according to knowledge? Have you been giving your wife the honour as God commands? If someone was to ask her these questions, would she give the same answers you give? If not, you have some work to do. If you will confess your wrong to God and your wife and begin doing right, God will reconnect your prayer line and bless your marriage.

Song: Have Thine Own Way – 388
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Submissive Husbands
26 July 2015 AM – 1 Peter 3:7 – 1Pe15 – Scott Childs