Our message this evening is somewhat of a sequel to the morning message. This morning we learned about revenge. This evening we are going to learn about “The Power of a Soft Answer”.

Harry Ironside wrote, “It is impossible for man to estimate correctly the power for good or evil that lies in the tongue. A kind and gracious word will often disarm a most ill-tempered and wrathful man. A sharp, cutting remark has frequently separated friends dear to each other for years; some trivial circumstance arose which should have been lovingly turned to an occasion for grace and forbearance on the part of each.”

Transition

This evening I want to answer three important questions about the power of a soft answer.

What is a Soft Answer?

1. We must first define the terms.
   1. The word translated “soft” describes the tender organs of the body or the tender loins. The Ancient Hebrew Lexicon of the Bible It means tender, soft, delicate, weak or gentle. BDB Lexicon
   2. An “answer” is a response.
   3. The phrase “turneth away” literally means to cause to return, allow to return, to turn back, to repel, to reject, to refuse.
   4. The word translated “wrath” literally means heat. It is used to describe rage, hot displeasure, indignation, anger, wrath, poison and venom.
2. Next, we must put the terms together.
   1. A tender or gentle response will turn back heated anger.
   2. One commentator said that a literal translation of this phrase would be “A soft return causeth heat to turn”. He went on to say, “Every one’s observation and experience furnishes a sufficient commentary on this proverb.” Whedon
   3. When you are injured by the words of another, God does not want you to endure in silence. He wants you to respond with tender words of wisdom.

Why is a Soft Answer Important?

1. A soft answer honours the Lord
   1. When we give a soft answer, we obey the principle found in this verse and God is honoured.
   2. When we produce the fruit of the Spirit instead of the fruit of the flesh, it displays the power of God in our life.
   3. A gentle response gives us God’s blessing. (Matthew 5:9) “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
   4. When we answer softly, we fulfill the command of (Colossians 4:6) “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Remember, grace is undeserved help. Seasoning with salt makes things taste better and helps to preserve.
2. A soft answer helps calm heated situations
   1. The second half of the verse reminds us that grievous words fuel the fire. Grievous words are painful words. They stir up, rouse, or cause anger to increase. They are jabbing fleshly comments that further irritate the angry person. Admittedly, this is our natural sinful response when we are attacked.
   2. Instead of pouring water on the fire, this is like adding wood to the fire. It is like stirring up the coals and fanning the flame. Solomon describes this again in (Proverbs 26:21) “As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.”
   3. A soft answer extinguishes the fire.
   4. If you have been camping, you have likely sat around a campfire. If you put more fuel on the fire, the fire gets bigger and hotter. If you pour water on the fire, it quickly cools and goes out. If the fire is a wood fire, this is not an exception, it is a rule. The fire will always go out if you put sufficient water on it.
   5. When we return a soft gentle answer to one who is heated up about something, it will extinguish his fire.
      1. God states this as a fact.
      2. We know it is true from experience.
   6. One preacher described this true with this illustration: “Can a person fight a pillow? Impossible! The pillow will take any blows given to it without hitting back. This is no fight; all punches are absorbed, and the pillow is not hurt; so anger quickly gives up, and the fight is over.” LGBT Yes, a soft answer is calming!

How Can We Give a Soft Answer?

Harry Ironside wrote, “It is considered unmanly by many not to resent an insult and to allow wrathful words to pass unchallenged. But it takes far more true character to meet an angry man in quietness of spirit, and to return cool, calm words for heated, hasty ones. The man who controls his tongue shows that he has his personal feelings in subjection.”
Another commentator said, “Mild words, gentle expressions, delivered with kindness and tenderness, humility and submission; these will work upon a man’s passions, weaken his resentments, and break and scatter the storm of wrath raised in his breast.” Gill

1. We need God’s help.
   1. We need God’s help because our pride is working against us. Pride will keep us from doing right. A preacher wisely stated, “If there be such happiness in a soft answer, how is it that it is so hard to give it? There is one great obstacle to which all others may be reduced—the obstacle of pride. When harsh words are addressed to us which we feel to be unmerited, we cannot bring ourselves to forego the delight of a successful retort, still less can we bear to admit that any part of the wrong is of our doing. Pride disguises itself very cunningly, so that even a high-minded Christian is misled by its craft.” Sermon Bible
      1. (Proverbs 13:10) “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.”
      2. (Proverbs 28:25) “He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.”
   2. We need God’s help because gentleness and self-control are fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). We need both of these if we are going to give a soft answer to the one who is insulting us. Our sinful nature does not want to be gentle during an attack. Our sinful flesh longs to lose control when we are the target of another’s anger. Without God’s help, we will likely fail.
   3. We need God’s help to guard our thoughts and words. (Psalms 19:14) “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”
2. We must follow God’s instructions.
   1. We must do what is right. Remember what we studied last week in (James 4:17). “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” It is not enough to know what is good, we must do it. We must be doers of the Word and not hearers only (James 1:22).
   2. We must be full of God’s wisdom. Wisdom is that God-given ability to make right choices. (James 3:17) “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”
   3. We must think before we speak! (Proverbs 29:20) “Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.”
   4. We must be prudent or careful. (Proverbs 12:16) “A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.”
   5. We must be slow to anger – so slow that we never let it happen. (Proverbs 15:18) “A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”

Conclusion

One of the most difficult tasks you will face as a Christian is staying calm and giving a soft answer when someone is attacking you with angry insults. Though difficult, it is possible if we are walking in the Spirit. The power of a soft answer will turn away heated anger.

Giving a soft answer is against our nature. It is humbling. It hurts our pride. It requires God’s help. It demands self-control. But, it honours the Lord and it puts out fires.

This evening we need to make Psalm 19:14 our prayer.

Song: Have Thine Own Way – 388
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The Power of a Soft Answer
15 May 2016 PM – Proverbs 15:1 – Fortifying the Family – Scott Childs