The latch of the back door on my van was getting very difficult to open so a couple of weeks ago I oiled it. Now it opens much easier. This lubrication principle is also true of our relationships.

The word “finally” in 1 Peter 3:8 marks the close of a section on relationships that began in 1 Peter 2:13. Peter instructed citizens to submit to the government, servants to submit to unreasonable masters, wives to submit to unspiritual husbands, and husbands to submit to their humbling God-given role. In each of these relationships there is potential for friction. Having a godly attitude will help to lubricate the relationship and ease the friction.

Transition

In our text this morning, Peter notes seven godly attitudes that can lubricate our relationships with others.

Be Likeminded

  1. What does “likeminded” actually mean?
    1. This is the only time the word is used in the NT.
    2. It means having unified minds or unified hearts.
      ² This does not mean just agreeing together. Terrorists are like-minded in that way. It means all having their minds set in the right direction, obedience to Jesus Christ, and seeking to serve as He served (Mar 10:43-45). We are to be like-minded with Him. Peter Pett
  2. Likeminded unity requires a standard around which we can unify.
    1. If I said, “Next Sunday let’s all dress alike”, that tells you basically nothing. However, if I said, “Next Sunday let’s all wear blue”, then we could be unified in colour.
    2. As Christians, we are to be likeminded around Bible instructions. We are all to think God’s way about submitting to those over us.
      1. We are to be likeminded about Bible doctrine.
      2. Many churches today build unity around music or love rather than around Bible doctrine. That is a dangerous error. Music or love without sound doctrine leads to false teachings, from which we are commanded to separate. (Romans 16:17) “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.”
        ☆ Being like-minded with God and each other about God’s commands will greatly oil our relationships.

Be Empathetic

  1. Our text says, “Have compassion one of another.”
    1. This phrase comes from one Greek word, which means to suffer or feel the like with another.
    2. It may imply either sympathy or empathy. In the context of submission, it probably refers more to empathy or seeing the situation from the other person’s view.
  2. Empathy is entering into another’s feelings
    1. In the context it means looking at laws from the government’s perspective; viewing mistreatment from the master’s perspective; looking at marriage from your husband’s perspective; seeing your wife from your her perspective.
    2. Empathy is not just observing things from another’s perspective, but it is then acting in a sympathetic way toward them.
    3. In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus told the story of the “Good Samaritan” who showed empathy and sympathy to the injured Jewish traveller. He knew he would want help if he were in that situation so he got involved in the injured man’s life. It cost him time and money.
      ☆ Viewing situations from the other person’s perspective will oil our relationships.

Be Loving

  1. We are to love as brethren
    1. This phrase is all one word in the original.
    2. It means loving like a brother or sister.
  2. Brotherly love is special.
    1. It is natural. It is loyal. It is supportive. It is powerful. It is enduring. It is sacrificial. (Proverbs 17:17) “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
    2. If we loved our spouse with brotherly love, it would make it much easier to fulfil our God-given role toward them.
      ☆ A loving attitude will oil any relationship.

Be Compassionate

  1. Pitiful is more than just feeling sorry for another.
    1. The word translated “pitiful” comes from a compound of “well” and “bowels”. Bowels refers to the inner heart feeling. We would say compassion.
    2. In Ephesians 4:32 it is translated tenderhearted.
  2. Having a tender spot in your heart will make a big difference.
    1. God wants us to have a tender spot in our heart even towards those who make our relationships difficult.
    2. It is that tenderness deep down in our heart that enables us to show mercy to those who really do not deserve it.
      ☆ A compassionate attitude is an oil that prevents bitterness.

Be Courteous

  1. Consider the word translated “courteous”
    1. It is a compound from “friend” and “mind” meaning friendly of mind.
    2. It expresses an attitude that is kind or courteous. It is being polite and having gracious good manners.
  2. We ought to be courteous to other
    1. Whether it is toward our spouse or a leader, God expects us to be kind, polite, and gracious.
    2. Even when we disagree with another, being courteous will calm the situation. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
      ☆ Courtesy will lubricate tense situations.

Be Overlooking (v.9)

  1. Our response must overlook negative comments
    1. The word here translated “evil” means of a bad nature, troublesome, or injurious. It speaks of someone treating you in a bad way.
    2. The word here translated “railing” means to revile, or to verbally abuse. This includes criticism in an abusive or scornful way.
  2. When others do or say things that hurt us, we must overlook it.
    1. This is not easy. My natural reaction is to get even, and yours may be as well. We must fight this desire, and ask God for the grace to forgive and let Him settle the score.
    2. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 20:22, “Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the LORD, and he shall save thee”
    3. Jesus himself said, “But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:39).
      ☆ Refusing to seek revenge will lubricate relationships.

Be Blessing

  1. Instead of returning evil, we are to bless.
    1. The word translated “bless” refers to fine speaking, praise, bless, or commendation.
    2. Not only is it hard to keep from retaliating when others hurt us, but it is even more difficult to bless them by using careful, kind, polite words when talking to or about them.
  2. Blessing is our calling
    1. Yes, God calls Christians to bless those who misuse us. One way is to pray for them not against them.
    2. God also promises to bless us when we bless offenders.

Conclusion

If you are a Christian, God wants to help you develop these seven godly attitudes that will lubricate your relationships. If they are lacking in your life, Please don’t ignore the problem or make excuses. Deal with the matter. Ask God for forgiveness and ask Him to help you develop the missing godly attitudes.

Peter wrote this to Christians. If you are not 100% positive you are a Christian and that Christ has saved you from hell, the full extent of these godly attitudes is out of your reach. The first thing you need is to become a true Christian. Then, and only then, can Christ help you.

Song: Have Thine Own Way – 388
—
A Lubricating Attitude
2 August 2015 AM – 1 Peter 3:8-9 – 1Pe15 – Scott Childs