Eternity magazine once told of a sidewalk flower vendor who was doing very little business. Suddenly a happy thought struck him, and he put up this sign: “Buy a gardenia; it will make you feel important all day long!” Almost immediately his sales began to increase. People love to feel inflated, for their innermost nature thrives on any attention that caters to their pride.

That fact is the very reason that God warns us to beware of flattery.

Transition

This evening we are going to examine what God tells us in the book of Proverbs about flattery.

Flattery Defined

  1. Dictionary definitions
    1. To flatter is to praise or compliment someone, esp. insincerely or to win favour
    2. Merriam-Webster: “to praise excessively especially from motives of self-interest”
    3. Cambridge Dictionary: making someone look or seem better or more attractive than usual
  2. Bible definitions
    1. The Hebrew word mean to have a smooth surface, to use smooth or slippery talk
    2. One word means smoothness or seductiveness
  3. Practical definition
    1. Flattery is the use of insincere compliments, praise or charming comments with the motive of winning one’s trust for personal gain.
    2. In PNG one who flattered was called a “grease man”.
    3. Flattery is often no more than enticing lies. Why do we listen to flattery? We listen because we like complements, praise, and charm. It feeds our pride.

Flattery Described

  1. Flattery is a prime tool of immoral people
    1. (Proverbs 2:16) “To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;”
    2. (Proverbs 6:24) “To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.”
    3. (Proverbs 7:5) “That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.”
    4. (Proverbs 7:21) “With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.”
    5. (Proverbs 5:3) “For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:”
    6. Solomon warned about women who flatter, but the same can be said about men who flatter. If an opposite gender compliments your body or your beauty. Beware! It might be flattery.
  2. Flattery is harmful
    1. It leads to ruin. (Proverbs 26:28) “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.”
    2. It does not help a person like the truth can help. (Proverbs 28:23) “He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.”
    3. Flattery makes a trap that is easy to slip into. (Proverbs 29:5) “A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.”
    4. It leads to a way that is not good. (Proverbs 16:29) “A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good.”

Flattery Deflected

How can you prevent being deceived by flattery?

  1. Be able to identify flattery
    1. Ask yourself, “Why is this person saying these nice things about me?” “What is he or she trying to get from me?”
    2. “Some teachers use flattery as a means to increase personal followings. Leaders desiring to attract a crowd sometimes water down their message until the gospel is reduced to little more than a God-tainted self-improvement program. They pepper their talks with cheerful verses and illustrations designed to make their hearers feel better about themselves (and about the teachers). There is much talk about discovering one’s potential and developing personal greatness. This is nothing more than flattery intended to create popularity for the speaker and his or her message. It sells books and media time, but it often bears little resemblance to the message Jesus proclaimed.” Got-answers.com
  2. How can we avoid flattery?
    1. A wise person learns to recognize it and separate flattery from sincere compliments.
      1. A person giving sincere compliments has nothing to gain by them. He has no hidden motive.
      2. Have a realistic humble opinion of yourself so that you can spot flattery right away as being false.
      3. Consider the source. If it is from a person of the opposite gender, are they trying sensually to lure you? If it is from a salesperson, are they trying to lure you into their sales trap?
      4. If the compliment is coming from the opposite gender, ask yourself if it is the kind of thing that a truly godly person would say about you.
    2. Flattery is often coupled with lying, as a flatterer is not concerned with whether or not he or she is being truthful.
    3. We must be prudent so we can see what may come next. (Proverbs 22:3) “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.”
    4. When you suspect flattery, don’t be fooled. Do not let the flatterer lure you into his or her trap. (Proverbs 1:10) “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.”
    5. Stay away from people who flatter you. You may have to be somewhat rude to them for your own protection. (Proverbs 20:19) “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.”
  3. Do not flatter others
    1. (Proverbs 24:28) “Be not a witness against thy neighbour without cause; and deceive not with thy lips.”
    2. Flattery is a form of deception. It is a lie to get you to do something you should not do. To use flattery is an evil sin.

Conclusion

Flattery is one of the many lies used by the sinful human nature to promote selfish agendas. God wants us to be alert to flattery so that we are not deceived by it. God also wants us to stay close to Him so that we won’t fall into this sinful means of self-promotion.

This does not mean that we should never compliment others. It simply means that we must always make sure that our motives are pure and that our compliments are sincere.

Song: Be Prudent and Watching
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Communication: Beware of Flattery
16 July 2017 PM – Proverbs 2:16 – Comm17 – Scott Childs