Cherish Marriage
4 August 2013 PM – Genesis 2:24 – Home Builders – Scott Childs
Introduction: I have entitled this series “Home Builders” because we are going to study and learn from the lives of several couples in the Bible who built up their homes (and a few who tore down their homes). This series is for all of us. Young people, you need to learn now how to build a good home so you can avoid mistakes others make. If you are married, God wants you to build your home for His glory, and you need to know how. Melody and I need this series because our marriage is not perfect either.
We will begin this series by looking at Adam and Eve’s marriage in Genesis 2:18-24 [read]. God performed their marriage right after He created Eve. God’s marriage covenant had three parts: Leaving parents, cleaving to a spouse, and weaving two lives into one.
Marriage reminds me of epoxy glue. Epoxy glue is made by placing two separate resins next to each other, then mixing them together to form a new single substance that is very strong and cannot be separated.
Adam’s first response was one of pleasure. He and Eve had a perfect marriage. They cherished their marriage. The word “cherish” means to hold dear or to care for lovingly.
Transition: If we are going to build solid homes, we must cherish marriage. This evening, I want us to note two ways that we should cherish marriage.
I. We Should Cherish Marriage by Being Faithful
We show that we truly cherish our marriage when we are faithful to all three parts of God’s marriage covenant.
A. We should be faithful in leaving
1. Most young adults do not fear leaving father and mother to get married. But leaving father and mother is more than moving out of the house (though that is very important).
a) It is leaving the authority of parents and becoming an independent home. It is not wrong to seek parental advice, but it is wrong to allow parents to control your marriage.
b) It is leaving the support of parents and trusting the Lord to meet your needs. Borrowing a little from parents is not necessarily wrong, but every married couple must be independent.
When Melody and I got married, we had very little. The Lord provided needed work. We rented a small apartment. Our food bill was about $10 a week. We often bought chicken backs and made soup out of them. We did not have much, but we were financially independent and happy.
c) It is leaving the comfort of parents. Running back to dad or mum to tell them all your troubles is not wise. Confide in your spouse. Work through the issues with your spouse. Pray together about your burdens. Learn to trust God together.
2. The devil delights in stressing marriages by keeping couples from truly leaving their parents to begin a new home of their own. The void of leaving is filled by cleaving.
B. We should be faithful in cleaving
1. Faithfully work at strengthening the bond between you and your spouse. You will need God’s help.
2. Faithfully cleaving to your spouse is no accident. It takes time and effort. Spend time together walking, sitting, cleaning, gardening, training your children, laughing, fellowshipping, or serving God together. Time together is bonding.
3. Here are several ways that we should cleave to our spouse.
a) Cleave spiritually by daily reading the Bible together and praying together. No other ingredient has the power to bond your marriage like this one.
b) Cleave emotionally by encouraging, comforting, forgiving, and sharing your hearts.
c) Cleave verbally by saying “Thank you”, “I love you”, “I was wrong, please forgive me”, and “I forgive you.” These will greatly strengthen your bond.
d) Cleave physically with hugs and kisses. All too often after marriage these are neglected.
e) Cleave mentally by keeping your thoughts and your heart only for your spouse. Novels, magazines, and the Internet often promote lust. Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:
C. We should be faithful in weaving
1. Becoming one flesh is weaving your lives together into single unit.
2. The physical union is the main focus in becoming one flesh. It pictures the oneness we have with Christ. Becoming one creates a team. You must weave your whole lives together as a team.
a) Weave together financially. If you have a “mine and yours” attitude about finances, you will have conflicts. If you treat all that God gives you as “ours” and spend it as a team, you will avoid conflicts.
b) Weave together socially. At marriage, you become a couple. Do everything together. Having your own evening out alone with friends can be very unhealthy.
c) Weave together domestically. Weave your family traditions. Develop your unique family team.
You show that you cherish your marriage when you are faithful in leaving, cleaving, and weaving as God ordained.
II. We Should Cherish Marriage by Being Thoughtful
If you are married, on your wedding day you cherished your spouse. You promised to care for them lovingly. In those early days, you spent as much time together as possible. You were thoughtful in your actions. As time passed, you discovered what your spouse is a sinner just like you. Being thoughtful is not as easy as it once was, but it is just as important. Ephesians 5:31-33, comments on Genesis 2:24 and tells us how couples are to thoughtfully cherish each other.
A. Husbands must thoughtfully love their wives.
1. Men, God commands us to love our wives, because He knows we often fail to love. Your wife’s greatest need is love. So, God’s closing word to husbands in Ephesians 5 is “love your wife as you love yourself.”
2. A thoughtful husband will love her by giving her:
a) Leadership: help her, resolve conflicts, build her up, spend wisely, learn her needs and truly care
b) Affection: tell her you love her, give her hugs, comfort, gentleness, and attention
c) Communication: listen, share your heart, discuss plans, compare ideas, thank her, pray with her
d) Esteem: praise, complement, and encourage her
e) Security: keep her safe, be loyal, guard your eyes
B. Wives must thoughtfully respect their husbands.
1. Ladies, your husband’s greatest need is for respect. God tells you to respect your husbands because he knows this is a struggle for you. Many husbands do not deserve respect, but they still need it.
2. You can thoughtfully respect him by being his:
a) Cheerleader: praise, thank, and pray with him. Praying together is very important. If you struggle with this, work at it until you succeed.
b) Completer: care for his food and clothing needs, follow his leadership, spend wisely, be a team
c) Friend: be loyal, listen, spend time with him, just be with him
d) Lover: love him unreservedly
e) Admirer: brag on him, focus on his qualities
Your spouse’ needs are different from your needs. You show that you cherish your marriage when you thoughtfully seek to meet the needs of your spouse.
Conclusion: We have considered two ways to cherish marriage. 1) Faithfully leave, cleave, and weave to make your marriage all that God wants it to be. 2) Thoughtfully love your wife or respect your husband. What changes do you need to make? How can you improve your faithfulness? In what is your thoughtfulness lacking? Do you pray with your spouse daily? Will you ask God to help you make the needed changes? Let’s cherish our marriages for our good and God’s glory.
Song: Teach Me Thy Way, O Lord – 337