Rearing children who will grow up to be godly servants of the Lord is no small task. It is far more than taking them to church on Sunday, giving them a Christian education, and saying prayers with them before bed. Lack of biblical discipline, anger in the home, failure to instil character, failure to control media and friends, parental hypocrisy, trying to buy a child’s affection, lack of forgiveness, and discord between parents are a few of the issues that influence a child’s heart. Eventually there comes a time in every child’s life when he must decide for himself how he will live, but his upbringing will have a HUGE impact on his decision. When a young adult makes wrong choices, they often can be traced back to a failure in the home. God said in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” If you are a parent, take your job seriously!

From our text, we are going to see that David did not do a very good job rearing his children. He was a busy man, but the fact that he foolishly married several wives made things worse. Because of the unsavoury content of these two chapters, I will not read much of it but carefully tell the story and let you read it another time.

Transition

This evening I want us to note several failures in David’s sons that we must avoid ourselves. As parents, we must teach our children how to avoid these failures.

Amnon Dishonoured His Half-sister Tamar

1. He tricked Tamar into coming to his house.
   1. Amnon was David’s firstborn son (2Sa 3:2).
   2. He said he loved Tamar, but his love was selfish. It was not love; it was lust. Any affection that does not have the best interest of the other person in mind is not love but lust. Young people, do not be deceived by your feelings.
   3. His friend, Jonadab, gave him the idea of pretending to be sick and asking for Tamar to bring him lunch.
2. He forced her to be immoral with him.
   1. She could not escape.
   2. Afterwards, she left in shame.
      ☆ Amnon did not really love his sister; he was controlled by evil thoughts and lustful desires. Sinful lust is a desire for something that is not ours. Lust always begins in the heart and mind. Lustful thoughts lead to lustful actions. The Bible makes it clear that all such lust is wrong.
      ☆ (Matthew 5:28) But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
      ☆ (John 8:44) Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
      ☆ (Romans 6:12) Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
      ☆ (Romans 13:14) But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
      ☆ (Galatians 5:16) This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
      ☆ (2 Timothy 2:22) Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
      ☆ Amnon also had a bad friend. A bad friend will lead you into lots of trouble. God warns us sternly to choose our friends carefully.
      ☆ (Proverbs 14:7) Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.
      ☆ (1 Corinthians 15:33) Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

Absalom Murdered His Half-brother Amnon

1. Absalom planned Amnon’s death.
   1. Absalom was David’s third-born son and Tamar’s full brother (13:4).
   2. Absalom hid his feelings about Amnon (13:22).
   3. He waited two full years then invited all his brothers to a dinner (13:23-27).
   4. He ordered his servants to kill Amnon (13:29).
2. Absalom fled to hiding
   1. He ran to his heathen grandfather (his mother’s dad) and hid in Geshur on the north east of Galilee (13:37). (1 Chronicles 3:2) The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur: …
   2. Absalom remained there for three years (13:38)
      ☆ Absalom lacked godly character. It is true that Amnon should have been punished for his sin, but it was not Absalom’s job to do it. His life was filled with hatred, bitterness, revenge, and meddling. He went to live with his heathen grandparents.
      ☆ When someone hurts you or someone close to you, you must not take vengeance in your own hands. (Romans 12:19) Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. If there is anyone whom you hate, you are not right with God. If you get angry inside every time you think of a person, you are bitter toward them, and bitterness is keeping you from being right with God.
      ☆ God also tells us to mind our own business. If we are not part of a problem or part of the solution, we must not meddle in the situation. (Proverbs 26:17) He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.

Absalom Wanted to Return Home Pardoned

1. He hired a woman to tell David a made-up story (14:1-20)
   1. The story was a type of parable. Read 2 Sa 14:4-20.
   2. David discerned that the story was made-up and that Joab had planned it (14:19).
2. David invited Absalom back but would not see him (14:21-28)
   1. Absalom was a pride-filled, good looking young man (14:25).
   2. For two years, he lived in Jerusalem but did not see his dad. Absalom wanted to see David face to face. He did not repent and seek forgiveness. He just wanted his murder pardoned – ignored and dropped.
3. Absalom forced Joab to speak to the king for him (14:29-33)
   1. Absalom tried to get Joab to convince the king to see him. Joab did not want to do this (14:29).
   2. Absalom set Joab’s field on fire to get his attention (14:30).
   3. Joab finally asked King David and got permission for Absalom to see him (14:33).
      ☆ Absalom was handsome on the outside, but he was ugly on the inside. He was proud. He was unrepentant. He was selfish.
      ☆ Beware! If you are different on the outside than you are on the inside, you are a hypocrite. God sees your heart more clearly than people see your appearance.
      ☆ (Proverbs 21:2) Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.
      ☆ (Job 34:21) For his eyes are upon the ways of man, and he seeth all his goings.
      ☆ Read Psalm 139:1-12
      ☆ If your heart is full of pride, selfishness, or unrepentance, do not try to hide it from God. Admit it and ask for God’s forgiveness and help.

Conclusion

David failed to train up his sons in the way they should go. Parents, take seriously your duty to train up your children. Now is the time to mould their lives for God’s glory. Do not let lack of biblical discipline, anger in the home, failure to instil character, failure to control media and friends, parental hypocrisy, trying to buy a child’s affection, lack of forgiveness, or discord between parents influence your child’s heart for evil. Their youth is brief. They will be on their own before you know it.

If you are struggling any of the sins of Amnon or Absalom, do not ignore the danger you are in. Confess your sin and get right with God. Beg God to give you victory over those sins.

Song: Victory in Jesus – 496
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David’s Wayward Children
1 November 2015 PM – 2 Samuel 13:1-14:33 – Life of David – Scott Childs