This past week, as I was reading in my devotions, I came across Proverbs 12:4. “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” As I paused and looked for a principle, my attention focused on the word “virtuous”. I learned that the Hebrew word means strength. Our Bible translates the word in many different ways including, valiant, wealth, substance, valour, worthy, strength, power, host, might, army and riches. Overall, the word portrays one who has exceptional character.

Virtue or character is not just for women. In fact, men ought to be the leading examples of character. Bible examples of men with exceptional character include, Job, Jeremiah, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and Nehemiah.

Character has become a rare gem in our day. Character among adults is greatly lacking and among youth and children, character is nearly extinct. Sadly, this is true even among professing Christians.

If we do nothing to change the trend, our lives and especially the lives of our children will be greatly harmed both not and eternally.

Transition

This morning I want us to consider five ways we can develop character in the lives of our children.

To develop character in the lives of your children you must …

Understand Character

  1. Know what Character is.
    1. Character is moral excellence. It comes from fearing God.
    2. Character is doing everything to the glory of God.
    3. Character is the determination to do right even when you don’t feel like it.
    4. Character is a consistent, voluntary, habit that comes from the heart and persists even when no one is watching.
    5. GotAnswers.com “A person’s character is the sum of his or her disposition, thoughts, intentions, desires, and actions. It is good to remember that character is gauged by general tendencies, not on the basis of a few isolated actions.”
    6. Your character determines what you will think and do when no one is watching.
  2. Make a list of character qualities
    1. A short list would include obedience, kindness, honesty, forgiving others, godly, contentment, self-controlled, helpful, unselfish, a hard-worker, calm when irritated, good manners, keeping a good attitude when disappointed. Many more qualities exist.
    2. Do these character qualities describe your life and the life of your children?
      To develop character in the lives of your children you must …

Live Character

  1. Your greatest teaching tool is your example
    1. Whether you have good or bad character, your example is constantly teaching your children. Your children are always watching you. Living a consistent life of godly character takes work and discipline.
    2. A teacher was trying to get her year two students to understand character. She told them that the things they do were like seeds planted in the garden. If they plant good seeds, good plants will come up. If they plant bad seeds, bad weeds will come up. After class, the teacher was in a hurry to get home and was stopped by a policeman for speeding. One of the students saw this and the next day in class, the students said, “Miss Teacher, you planted bad seeds.”
  2. Examples speak louder than words
    1. It is hopeless to live a selfish life and try to teach your children to be unselfish.
    2. It is counterproductive to give your child $1 for the Lord’s offering and $20 for a sporting event.
    3. It is hopeless to get angrily argue with your spouse and then try to teach your children to be kind.
    4. The only way to teach character effectively to your children is to back up what you say with a life of character. When you fail in a character quality, humbly and sincerely ask your family for forgiveness.
      To develop character in the lives of your children you must …

Teach Character

  1. Teach character in your home life
    1. Begin teaching character when your children are very young. Be consistent. This is difficult.
    2. Talk about character qualities during meal times.
    3. Give your children jobs and see that they do them with a proper attitude. Unpleasant jobs build character.
    4. Teach children how to handle failure and disappointments with a godly attitude.
    5. Read Christian books together and point out character qualities from the stories.
    6. Take your child witnessing with you. Teach them how to share the gospel.
  2. Teach character in your family Bible time.
    1. Sing godly choruses as a family.
    2. Study the Bible together.
    3. Pray together as a family.
    4. Memorise Scripture together as a family.
      To develop character in the lives of your children you must …

Expect Character

  1. Reinforce what you teach
    1. Explain character qualities that you are working on. Help the children see why the quality is important and why God wants them to develop it.
    2. Some families make character charts to evaluate qualities.
    3. Regularly evaluate character. Inspect what you expect.
  2. Don’t overlook bad character
    1. Stop your child every time he or she fails in a character quality and have him or her redo it correctly.
    2. Practice makes perfect. Every time you ignore a character failure, you are practicing failure. Every time you make them redo a character quality properly, you are practicing success.
      To develop character in the lives of your children you must …

Praise Character

  1. Praise character regularly
    1. We usually see faults quicker than we see character qualities. Watch for character qualities and praise them. This will emphasize their importance.
    2. Here are some examples: “Thank you for helping with the dishes without being asked. God will bless you for that.” “I noticed that you kept a good attitude when you got knocked down during the game. I am proud of you for that.” “God was pleased when you were kind to your brother this morning.” “I noticed that you yet others go first today, that pleases the Lord.”
  2. Praise character above talent.
    1. Praising character encourages Christ-likeness.
    2. Playing fair and with a good attitude is far more important than winning.
    3. Praising talent promotes pride. If you treat your child to ice cream when he win a game but say nothing to him when he is honest or unselfish, you are teaching him that winning is more important than character.
    4. Praising success encourages wrong values and covetousness.
    5. At the Judgment Seat of Christ, Christ will reward service and character not talent or success. Most of the rich, famous, popular, and talented people on earth lack godly character and will regret it for all eternity.

Conclusion

What are you doing to promote character qualities in your life and in the lives of your children? Character does not develop by accident. If you do nothing, character is likely to become extinct in your child’s life. To develop character in your children you must, 1) Understand it, 2) Live it, 3) Teach it, 4) Expect it, and 5) Praise it.

I challenge you to ask God right now to help you develop godly character in the lives of your children. It will take work, but with God’s help, you can do it.

Song: More Like the Master – 325
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Developing Character
7 August 2016 AM – Proverbs 12:4 – Scott Childs