In the business world, people advertise seeking to create need, have sales, use visual and audible appeal, and even stoop to deception to motivate people to buy their goods. Obviously, not all motivation is good.

In the book of Philemon, the Apostle Paul sought to motivate Philemon to reconcile with his runaway slave Onesimus. Whether you are helping two people reconcile their differences, or you need to reconcile with someone you have hurt, reconciliation takes motivation.

Transition

As the Apostle Paul sought to motivate Philemon to reconcile with his runaway slave, he used three forms of motivation, which we too ought to use to motivate reconciliation with others.

The first form of motivation Paul used was:

Psychological motivation, v.8-9

  1. Paul chose not to command reconciliation (v.8).
    1. When Paul said that he might be much bold in Christ to enjoin Philemon, what was he saying? Simply, he was saying that he had much freedom in Christ to enjoin or command Philemon to reconcile.
      1. Paul was an apostle.
      2. He may have led Philemon to faith in Christ.
      3. Either way, he was in a position of leadership over him.
    2. Paul, however, chose not to command him. He knew that force was a pour motivator. Again, the old adage is true, “A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.”
    3. God used the same motivation in John 3:16. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” God, the sovereign of all, could have forced humans to believe, but instead He gave humans a free will to choose.
  2. Paul appealed to love to motivate reconciliation (v.9).
    1. Out of love, Paul chose to beg Philemon.
    2. Out of love, Paul may not have wanted to risk hurting Philemon’s feelings. A gentle request is always easier to accept than a harsh demand. This is true when the boss is speaking, when the teacher is confronting, when your parent is instructing, and when your spouse is wanting something. It is certainly true when seeking to motivate someone to reconcile.
    3. Paul may have been appealing to Philemon’s love for him as the old saint and prisoner of Jesus Christ. He may have been saying, “If for no other reason, please do what I am asking because of your love for me.”
    4. The next time you try to motivate a person to reconcile with yourself or with another, use this psychological motivation. Rather than appealing to your authority, appeal to love.
      The second form of motivation Paul used was:

Circumstantial motivation, v.10-14

  1. Onesimus had become dear to Paul (v.10-11).
    1. We do not know who delivered this brief letter to Philemon, but it seems unlikely that it was Onesimus himself. I suspect that he stood fearfully behind the deliverer as Philemon received the letter and read it.
    2. This is the only time in the book that Paul mentions Onesimus by name, and as he does, he calls him his son whom he gave birth to in his bonds.
    3. Obviously, Onesimus was not Paul’s physical son, but he must have led him to the Lord there in prison. The text leaves us with many unanswered questions. Why was Onesimus in Paul’s prison?
      1. It is unlikely that he too was in prison because at this time Paul was in a hired house chained to a guard.
      2. Having known Paul previously, did he seek him out to hear him preach or for help?
      3. We do not know, but evidently, Paul led him to faith in Jesus Christ.
    4. Though Onesimus had been unprofitable, as a new believer, he was now profitable (having been transformed by the Gospel) to Philemon and to Paul. When a person truly comes to know Christ’s cleansing, he or she becomes a new person from the inside out.
  2. Paul reluctantly sent Onesimus back (v.12-14).
    1. Paul sent him back with this request to receive him as one dear to Paul’s heart.
    2. Paul assured Philemon that he wanted to keep Onesimus with him as a personal minister there in prison. However, knowing that he was the legal property of Philemon, he could not keep him without permission.
    3. Circumstances had greatly changed since Philemon last saw Onesimus.
      1. He had fled in rebellion – he now returned in submission.
      2. He had departed a lost sinner – he now came back as a forgiven saint.
      3. Paul was not asking for reconciliation without repentance. Onesimus had repented and was willingly returning at the risk of his life. Repentance is key to reconciliation. This is necessary for genuine human reconciliation. When two people hurt each other, to reconcile, they both must admit their guilt and desire to change. Repentance is also necessary for reconciliation with God.
    4. One of the most difficult things for us to say is, “I was wrong, would you please forgive me.” I believe that many today who claim to be Christians are only fakes because they never truly repented of their sins. God cannot save a person from hell until that person admits with a repentant heart that he is a guilty sinner doomed for hell. A person who is not genuinely grieved by her sin and convicted by the Holy Spirit will not see her need.
      The third form of motivation Paul used was:

Spiritual motivation, v.15-16.

  1. God was at work for good (v.15).
    1. Paul suggested that God was using the whole incident of Onesimus running away that he might return to his master as a submissive Christian slave.
    2. He had been away for a season but was now returning to be received as a fellow believer forever.
    3. God had so transformed Onesimus’ life that he now stood before his master seeking forgiveness, restoration, and reconciliation.
  2. He is now a brother beloved (v.16).
    1. He had been a slave, but Paul now classified him as above a slave, a brother beloved.
    2. Paul assured Philemon that Onesimus was a beloved brother in Christ to him, but then emphasised “how much more” he was a beloved brother to Philemon.
    3. Paul concluded that this was true both in the flesh and in the Lord. In other words, as a fellow human, he was more than a slave. He was now a loyal servant. Spiritually, he was more than a slave, he was a brother in Christ.
    4. God had obviously transformed that man’s life when he trusted Christ. If you will repent of your sin and trust Christ to save your soul, He will transform your life as well.

Conclusion

To help motivate Philemon to reconcile with his slave, Paul used three forms of motivation. He used psychological motivation (love rather than force). He used circumstantial motivation (highlighting changes that had taken place in Onesimus). He used spiritual motivation (the transformation that Onesimus experienced). These same motivations can help us bring about reconciliation.

If you need to reconcile with someone, humble yourself, admit your guilt, and seek forgiveness.

If you have not yet been reconciled to God through repentance and faith in Christ’s payment, will you humble yourself and do it today?

Song: Have Thine Own Way – 388
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The Reconciliation Epistle Motivating Reconciliation
17 March 2024 AM – Text: Philemon 1:8-16 – Topic: Reconciliation