Text: Colossians 3:18-25
Theme: Service for Christ ought to be the goal in every human relationship.
Intro:
- Previously in this chapter we covered the lifestyle of the Old Man that we have put off, the godly lifestyle of the new man that we have put on, and now we come to the way we ought to behave toward others now that we are new creatures in Christ.
- Ephesians 5:22 – 6:9 is the sister passage to Colossians 3:18-25, and it gives us some further details that help to explain why the Bible places these expectations on us as Christians.
“It is important to remember that our bodies belong to the old creation still, and it will not be until the redemption of the body at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our gathering together unto Him, that we shall be above the natural relationships in which we stand to one another as men and women here in the world[1]”
- We will break down the rest of the chapter into 4 main headings, but we will only look at the first 2 this evening.
- Christian Living Within Marriage (Vs 18-19)
- Christian Living Within Families (Vs 20-21)
- Christian Living Within Workplaces (Vs 22)
- Christian Living Everywhere Else (Vs 23-25)
[1] H. A. Ironside, Lectures on the Epistle to the Colossians. (Neptune, NJ: Loizeaux Brothers, 1929), 155.
I. Christian Living Within Marriage (Vs 18-19)
- Wives living with their husbands (Vs 18)
a. We’ve already addressed the broader attributes (mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, forgiving) that ought to character the life of every Christian. Now we are getting to grips with some of the more specific things that we need to be aware of as individuals.
b. The one thing that is in focus here is the area of submissiveness.
– Submission does not mean that your husband makes all the decision in your life without any regard for you, your thoughts, or your feelings.
– Submission does not mean that you have to do whatever your husband tells you to, no matter how ridiculous or sinful it might be.
c. Submission means that you place yourself under his authority and leadership.
– When you enter into a marriage relationship you are placing yourself under your husband’s leadership in the home, and you are willingly submitting yourself to his authority, his leadership, and also his protection. - The basis for submission is the submission of the husband to Christ.
a. As the husband submits himself to Christ his wife should be willing to submit herself to her husband.
b. This means that it isn’t your job as a husband to force your wife to submit. Your job is to worry about yourself and be the sort of godly husband that your wife will be happy to submit to. - Husbands living with their wives (Vs 19)
a. The husband is expected to love his wife even as Christ loved the church.
– While the wife is required to submit to her husband, the husband is required to love his wife selflessly and give himself for her.
b. Now, you probably won’t ever have to die to protect your wife, but you should be willing to. Beyond that, you should be giving yourself for her is the sense of living your life in a selfless way that lifts her up and seek her good as a priority over your own.
c. The sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ is given as an example to the husband.
– That means that you are going to need to allow the love of Christ to be seen in your life and particularly in your relationship with your wife. - The husband’s sweet spirit (Vs 19b)
a. As a husband, you need to be careful how you treat your wife.
– To be bitter against someone is to direct our harsh or distasteful behaviour and mannerisms toward our them.
– You need to ensure that you don’t direct harsh works or actions toward your wife.
II. Christian Living Within Families (Vs 20-21)
- Children living with parents (Vs 20)
a. Children are commanded to obey their parents in all things.
– Obedience is required in all things. As children, we are still in that phase of life when we are learning what is best for us and what can bring us harm.
– Our parents are there to teach us how to make right choices, but also to make the choices that are still beyond our understanding.
b. Ephesians adds to this by telling us that there is a special blessing for those who obey their parents.
– Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”
c. We need to be wise in the discipline of our children.
– Children, especially the youngest ones, are learning things about the world through experimentation. They try throwing a stone and find that it falls back to the ground. They don’t understand gravity, nor do they understand that windows are fragile things.
– As a parent, it is your role to set the parameters for their experimentation. You tell them not to throw rocks at the house or at other people.
Then, when the parameters of their experiment are breeched, you enforce discipline to show them that there are consequences for wrong actions. - Fathers living with children (Vs 21)
a. Men are, once again, given instruction but this time regarding their relationship to their children.
– To provoke, means to stimulate or stir them up to anger. We need to be careful how we treat our children and how we handle difficult situations in which our children have disobeyed us.
– If we speak harshly to our children, or we treat them in an unkind way then they will come to resent us and our authority over them.
b. Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
– The antidote to stirring up anger in our children is for us to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
– They must be nurtured, which means we need to stir them up to good behaviour and good attitudes rather than to anger.
Conclusion:
- As a married couple, are you following the scriptural principles of loving submission and sacrificial love in our relationship?
- As parents, we need to train our children in a Christlike manner and not provoke them to anger and eventual rebellion.