Plant Godly Character
22 September 2013 PM – Daniel 1:3-8 – Home Builders – Scott Childs
Introduction: (Read text) In 606 BC, Daniel, a young Jewish teenager, was among the captives taken to Babylon by Nebuchadnezzar. Even as a young teen, Daniel was well favoured, and skilful in all wisdom, and cunning in knowledge, and had understanding in science. He so feared God that he was willing to risk his life to avoid defiling himself by eating what God forbid. The Bible does not give us the names of Daniel’s parents, but Daniel’s life tells us that they planted godly character in him when he was very young. They were wise homebuilders.
Dr. Ron Brooks defined character as “Doing right even when you don’t feel like it.” Planting character is placing values and conviction in the hearts of our children. Planting character must work hand in hand with cultivating our children’s hearts or the result will only be a temporary change of behaviour. Character must be firmly rooted in our children’s hearts.
Transition: This evening, we are going to examine three principles that will help us plant godly character in our children’s hearts.
I. Planting Godly Character Requires God’s Help
A. Developing godly character is never an accident
1. Every child is born a sinner. Sinners naturally lack character. They are dishonest, proud, irresponsible, disobedient, sloppy, ungrateful, unkind, unforgiving, and so on.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child… Proverbs 22:15
2. A child left on his own will not develop godly character.
B. You need God’s help to plant character
1. God urges parents to plant character in their children.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
2. Ask God to help you with this huge task.
3. Pray regularly for your children. Pray especially for their salvation. They need the indwelling Holy Spirit to help them with character. Ask God to open their hearts to the need for character.
II. Godly Character Must be Caught and Taught
A. Godly character is caught from your example
“Your talk talks, and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”
1. You cannot expect your children to develop a character quality if you are a bad example (e.g., sloppy/neat, late/prompt, disobedient/obey, dishonest/truthful, forgiving/unforgiving).
2. Your values must focus on eternity. This world is not our home. Live like a pilgrim or foreigner in this world.
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; 1 Peter 2:11
3. If you lack character, ask God to help you change to please Him and to be a good example.
B. Godly character must be taught continuously
1. Know what qualities you are going to teach. A brief list might include humility, truthfulness, obedience, neatness, gratefulness, patience, kindness, responsibility, gentleness, and forgiveness. Refer to the sheet I passed out for additional ideas.
2. Begin while your children are infants. The longer you wait, the more difficult the task will be.
3. Teach character all day long as you cultivate their hearts. This is just another facet of that cultivating.
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:7
a) Explain each quality from God’s perspective and seek to cultivate your child’s heart. The child must want to have the character quality because it pleases God, not just to avoid rebuke.
b) Be sure they know why each character quality is important. Answer their “why” questions.
c) Talk about the results of bad character and the blessings and rewards of good character. Encourage them to live for eternity. Teach them that godly character is more important than possessions, pleasures, and success.
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. Colossians 3:2
4. Teach each character quality when your child displays the opposite.
a) If they are mean, work on kindness. If they just lied, work on truthfulness. If they just got mad, work on self-control, and so on.
b) Give them verses to memorise on qualities with which they struggle. Help them memorise them.
5. Teach character qualities during family Bible time.
a) Reading from the book of Proverbs produces many opportunities to address character.
b) Check on their daily devotions. What are they learning? Have them share with the family.
6. Protect good character by sheltering them from bad influences like TV, bad friends, bad music, uncontrolled Internet. Install free K9 Internet shield.
III. Godly Character Must be Reinforced
A. Reinforce character through encouragement
1. Complement and praise godly character. As parents, we often forget to praise. Ask God to help you praise FAR more than you criticise.
a) Praise godly character and play down beauty, popularity, muscles, fads, and success.
b) Tell them you are proud of them when they stand up for the Lord against peer pressure.
2. As you pray with your child, thank God for your child’s good qualities.
B. Reinforce character through warning
1. Warn your child when their character is slipping.
a) “Is that the way God wants you to treat your brother?”
b) “Be truthful now. God does not want you to lie.”
2. Warn them of temptations they may face today that will challenge their character.
3. Set clear boundaries for them (e.g., bed time, friends, books, parties, no sleepovers, Internet, music). Boundaries are blessings for their good.
C. Reinforce character through correction
1. When your child fails to display a character quality, you need to correct him. The severity of the correction depends on the severity of the failure.
a) Many times a reminder is all that they need.
b) Other times they may need a rebuke.
Accusations harden the will, but questions stimulate the conscience. – Pastor Cary Schmidt
c) For bad behaviour, enforcing a “time-out” sitting on a chair for 10 minutes is often helpful.
d) For direct disobedience to a command, here is what God says you are calmly and lovingly to do.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15
e) John Stormer in his book Growing Up God’s Way, beginning on page 71, has a good section on how to correct biblically.
2. The goal of correction must always be to make your child a godlier person.
3. You should always follow correction with prayer, forgiveness, restoration, and love.
Conclusion: John Stormer said, “Character does not develop spontaneously. It must be woven into the fabric of the child’s being by dedicated parents… Discipline and character let God manifest His presence and power continually in and through the person’s life. This is the only real basis for a happy, successful life.” p. 100-101 Planting godly character in your child’s heart is a long hard process, but it is worth the effort. Daily seek God’s help. Be a good example. Teach continuously. Then reinforce what you are teaching. It is all part of “training your child in the way he should go.”
Song: Teach Me Thy Way, O Lord – 337