Rescuing Rebels

13 October 1013 PM – Luke 15:11-24 – Home Builders – Scott Childs

Introduction: This evening we will learn from the example of the prodigal son’s unnamed parents. Though Jesus does not mention the young man’s mother, he tells us much of the father’s role. Because in the parable the father represents God, some of His actions may not directly apply to human fathers, but we can learn much from the story about rescuing rebels.

Even in very good homes, occasionally a child will rebel and turn away from his parent’s teachings. I think most of the time one could trace such rebellion to a parental failure, but each child is also responsible for his own actions.

If your child becomes rebellious while living at home, look for flaws in your example, review your heart cultivating efforts, examine your character planting activities, and study your efforts to earn influence in his or her life. Admit to the child your failures and ask for his or her forgiveness. Press on with a new commitment to do your parental duties bathed in much prayer.

Sometimes the rebellion increases and the rebel will leave home. The prodigal son is an example of a teenager or young adult who left home in rebellion.

Transition: This evening we are going to look at several harmful and helpful responses a parent can have when a child leaves home in rebellion. Avoiding the harmful and doing the helpful will work toward rescuing the rebel. Restoration is always to be the goal.

I.        Harmful Responses to a Rebellious Runaway

A.     Do not try to control the runaway

1.      The prodigal’s father did not try to force his authority on the young man.

2.      Because the child is rebelling against your authority, any attempt to control him will likely make things worse. His actions are saying, “You can’t control me.”

3.      The fact that he will not listen to you shows that you have very little influence with him. When a child is a young adult, you have little authority to protect him and if you have not earned influence, he will not let you direct him.

B.     Do not reject the runaway

1.      The prodigal’s father gave him his inheritance. He let him go. He did not follow him and try to force him to return home. However, he did not reject him either.

2.      The rebel has made a sinful choice. He may be living in sin. What he is doing is wrong. Do not excuse that, but do not reject him. Do not push him away. Do not excommunicate him. Though he may not realise it, he needs you now more than ever.

C.     Do not resign from your parental duties

1.      The prodigal’s father continued to love and watch for him.

2.      You may be tempted to say, “He made the choice to rebel and it is his problem not mine.”

3.      It is true that once he is an adult, your child is no longer under your authority, but he still needs your influence in his life. Continue to love and pray.

D.     Do not respond in the flesh

1.      The prodigal’s father stayed calm when the son demanded his inheritance and left home. When the son repented, he received him in love.

2.      Returning anger for his anger or hurt for his hurt is responding in the flesh.

1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

3.      A fleshly response will widen the gap between you and your child. He needs to see Christ in your reactions.

E.     Do not become defeated

Proverbs 17:25 A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.

1.      Having a rebellious child is devastating. It is heartbreaking. It is embarrassing. However, you must not let this defeat you spiritually.

2.      During crisis like this, you need a strong relationship with God. You must be able to pray. You must gain strength from the Scriptures.

Psalm 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

II.      Helpful Responses to a Rebellious Runaway

A.     Admit and seek forgiveness for your failures

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

1.      We all fail, and you will likely fail your child in several ways. You may also hurt your child. Even if the hurt is only in his feelings, it is a real hurt to him.

2.      Ask him if you have failed or hurt him. You may not think his answer is legitimate, but if he feels it is, you need to confess it. Denying it will make it worse.

3.      Do not make excuses for your hurts and failures.

4.      Do not let pride keep you from humbly admitting your failures to your child. Apologise for hurting him. Seek his forgiveness.

B.     Let your child go

1.      The prodigal’s father did not try to force his son to obey. Though it hurt him deeply, he let him go.

2.      Let your child know that you are not going to try to control his life. He has a free will. Say to him, “You answer now to God not to me.”

3.      In the prodigal’s life, thoughts of his spiritual upbringing came back to convict him.

a)      He knew he had sinned against God (Lu 15:18).

b)      He knew he had sinned against his father (Lu 15:19).

C.     Respond to him with grace

1.      Grace is giving something he does not deserve.

2.      While never justifying his sinful lifestyle, give him unconditional love and kindness.

a)      A parent should not provide housing or financial support for a child living in fornication.

b)      Do not support his sinful lifestyle or excuse his sin, but give him your love and kindness.

c)      He needs to know that you have not given up on him and that you truly care.

d)      He needs to know that you are ready to welcome him back to sweet fellowship when he repents.

3.      Seek to begin earning influence with him through care, interaction, and time if he will allow it.

D.     Gently share Bible principles

2 Timothy 2:25-26 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;  And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

1.      A rebel runaway is opposing himself. He is hurting himself, though he may not realise it. As a parent, you must meekly (gently) instruct him.

a)      Do not preach at him. Rebels hate lectures.

b)      Look for gentle opportunities to point out Bible principles that can help him.

2.      Pray that God will use each of your gentle instructions to bring repentance in his heart.

3.      Pray that he will recover himself from the snares of the devil.

E.     Pray fervently

1.      God must do a work in your prodigal’s life.

“Prayer can do anything God can do.”

James 5:16 … The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

2.      The passionate prayer of the righteous is very powerful. Pray with passion and never give up.

Conclusion: Hopefully, none of your children will rebel and run away from home, but if one ever does, you can help to rescue him by avoiding these harmful responses and by responding in these helpful ways. Because he has a free will, your child may not change his ways, but may he never be able to say that you did not care.

These suggestions will also help you counsel others when their child rebels and runs away.

As we finish this Home Builders series, I hope you will put each message into practice so you can have a fruitful marriage and a happy, godly home.

Song: Teach Me to Pray – 346