Beginning with Ephesians 5:22, Paul tells us that Spirit-filled submission will be evidenced as wives complete their husbands, husbands love their wives, children obey their parents, and servants obey their masters.

God knows that we men can be very selfish, self-centred, insensitive, and demanding, especially toward our wives. Because of this thorn in our character, God reminds us that we must be filled with the Holy Spirit and depend on His help to love our wives properly.

Transition

When a husband is Spirit-filled, he will submit to God in this difficult task.

He Will Love His Wife as Christ Loves

  1. Christ’s love is a giving love, v.25
    1. Love is the sacrificial giving of oneself to meet the needs of another expecting noting in return.
    2. This love focuses on meeting the needs of another.
    3. As husbands, we must know the needs of our wives.
      1. Wives have five BASIC needs
        1. They need leadership: Be spiritual, resolve conflicts, admit faults and seek forgiveness, spend wisely, do maintenance
        2. They need affection: tender words, hugs, comfort
        3. They need communication: Listen, share your heart, thank her, pray with her, discuss issues
        4. They need esteem: praise, complement, treat her as special
        5. They need security: loyalty and safety
      2. God expects husbands to learn the SPECIFIC needs of their wives.1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
  2. Christ loved the church without reservation, v.25
    1. He gave himself for the salvation of undeserving sinners. This was a costly sacrifice. He left heaven. He became a man. He suffered the pain of the cross. He bore the guilt of our sins.Philippians 2:8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

      1 John 2:2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

    2. He gave himself with the aim of sanctifying (setting apart for special use) and cleansing filthy sinners, v.26.
    3. He gave himself with the goal of transforming undeserving, filthy sinners into holy, spotless, saints, v.27.
    4. God expects husbands to submit to the sacrificial task of loving their wives as Christ loves.
      1. Seek to meet her needs. Be her loving leader.
      2. Sacrifice the time and energy to make her all that God wants her to be. Do not be selfish. Tenderly clean up her weaknesses. Help ease her burdens by helping around the house. Build her up spiritually. Make it your goal to help her become a holy, godly, glorious wife. Pray for her and lovingly help her overcome any character flaws.
      3. If your wife is more spiritual than you are, seek with God’s help to improve your walk with God greatly so you can become a proper spiritual leader.When a sweet, loving, beautiful bride changes into a bitter, nagging, unattractive witch, it is often because her husband has failed to love her as Christ loves.

He Will Love His Wife as He Loves His Own Body

  1. He will love her instinctively, v.28
    1. We naturally love our own bodies.
      1. If we hit our thumb with a hammer, we immediately tend to the wound.
      2. If we feel cold, we find something warm to put on.
      3. If we get hungry, we look for something to eat.
    2. A Spirit-filled husband will submit to God’s command to love his wife instinctively. Her cares are my cares. Her needs are my needs. Her emotional pain is my emotional pain. Caring for your wife ought to be as natural as caring for your physical needs.
  2. He will love her tenderly, v.29
    1. No one ever hates his flesh. Normally, no one ignores his hungry stomach or his aching thumb. Instead he nourishes (feeds) his hunger and cherishes (broods over) his pain.
    2. Husbands are to love their wives in this tender manner just as Christ does. Wives are needy creatures. They are the weaker vessel – not weaklings but weaker than the husband. She has many needs that you do not have. If her constant needs irritate you, give them to the Lord or you will become bitter.Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
    3. Care for her needs as you care for the needs of your own body, and as Christ cares for your needs – instinctively and tenderly.

He Will Love His Wife as He Loves Himself

  1. In marriage God makes a couple one flesh, v.31
    1. Marriage is when a man leaves his father and mother and promises to cleave to a woman. Leaving and cleaving is a public covenant. It is a permanent commitment.
      1. Fornication is not marriage.
      2. Living with a partner is not marriage.Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
    2. When a couple leave and cleave, God declares them to be one flesh.Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
    3. The marriage union that God forms into one flesh is a picture of the union of Christ and the local church in heaven. It is an unbreakable bond. Paul admits that this is a great mystery, v.32.
  2. He will love her as he loves himself, v.33
    1. Loving oneself is a step beyond loving one’s body. Your body is just the tent in which you live. You are the living being inside that body. When God joins a man and woman together, it is not on a body level but on a being level. Their union is on an emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical level. They are still individually accountable to God, yet they are a mysterious union.
      1. The husband that hurts his wife emotionally is hurting himself because they are a union.
      2. The husband who loves his wife in the ways we have just learned, loves himself, v.28.
    2. Thus, if you love your wife as you love yourself, you will seek her well-being in every situation.

Conclusion

God will enable a Spirit-filled husband to submit to the difficult, sacrificial task of loving his wife. God knows that men struggle with proper love. That is why He commands this submission.

Husbands, loving our wives as God has commanded is an evidence of Spirit-filling. The opposite is also true. Failure to love our wives as God commanded is evidence the Holy Spirit is not filling and controlling us.

We all have work to do, so let’s put off the old man, let the Holy Spirit renew us, and put on the new man. Draw near to God. Confess our sin. Daily spend quality time with God in Bible study and prayer. Allow the Holy Spirit to fill us so with His help we can love our wives as God expects.

Song: I Surrender All – 394
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Spirit-filled Husbands
1 June 2014 PM – Ephesians 5:25-33 – Eph 14 – Scott Childs