The epistle of Philemon is the shortest of Paul’s fourteen letters. Though his letters to Timothy were a bit personal, they instructed him in the ministry. Philemon, on the other hand, is a very personal letter, written to Paul’s friend Philemon. Paul wrote this epistle while a prisoner in Rome, likely about 62 A.D.

Several names mentioned in this brief letter are also in the letter to the Colossian church. It is likely that they were written about the same time. Many believe that Philemon lived in Colossae or in a nearby town.

I have entitled this book, “The Reconciliation Epistle” because Paul’s purpose was to urge Philemon to reconcile with Onesimus, a servant or slave who had run away. As we will learn, Onesimus met Paul in prison, placed his faith in Jesus Christ, and God transformed him. He now desired to be reconciled to his master.

Today, conflicts harm relationships between friends, work colleagues, neighbours, church attendees, children and parents, and spouses. The content of this book gives us several tips on reconciliation which can help to ease the difficult task.

Transition

As Paul approached his dear friend, knowing that he was going to address the difficult topic of reconciliation, he approached in a kind and gentle manner.

First, we see this kind and gentle manner in

Paul’s Salutation, v.1-3

  1. Paul introduced himself and Timothy.
    1. This is the only Bible book where Paul begins by calling himself a prisoner of Jesus Christ. He did not call himself a prisoner of Rome. He knew that the Lord had allowed him to be in that prison.
    2. While in prison, Paul wrote his prison epistles, Colossians, Philemon, Ephesians, and Philippians. He was allowed to have visitors and preached the Gospel to them freely (Acts 28:30-31). He also evangelised many in Caesar’s household (Php 4:22).
    3. Timothy was with him there in prison as his aid.
  2. Paul addressed Philemon and others.
    1. He addressed the letter to Philemon and spoke of him as “our dearly beloved, and fellowlabourer.” This assured Philemon of Paul’s love for him and acknowledge his work for the Lord.
    2. Paul also addressed Apphia and Archippus a fellowsoldier. It is likely that Apphia was Philemon’s wife, and many think Archippus was their son. Some think he may have been a preacher. Either way, he had faced opposition as a soldier of the Lord.
    3. Grace and peace are typical tender greetings and genuine wishes of believers in the first century.
    4. Paul began this letter with kind and gentle words. This helped to set the mood for his next comments.
      Next, we see this kind and gentle manner in

Paul’s Affirmation, v.4-6

  1. He assured Philemon of his prayers.
    1. Instead of jumping directly into the purpose of his writing, Paul takes a gentle approach.
    2. He assured Philemon that he thanked God for him. He also assured him that he always prayed for him. He assured the congregations in Colossae, Rome, Corinth, and Thessalonica of his prayers as well (Rom 1:8-9; 1Thess 1:2; 2Thess 1:3; Col 1:3; Rom 1:9; 1Cor 1:4). Paul was a man of prayer.
    3. Any time we approach reconciliation, we must bathe it in much prayer. We need God’s help.
  2. He commended Philemon.
    1. Paul commended his love and faith for the Lord and for all saints. These qualities were themes in Paul’s prayer for him.
      1. Paul knew that he genuinely loved the saints. Love is giving of oneself to meet the needs of another, expecting nothing in return.
      2. He also had genuine faith in the Lord. This word can refer to receiving God’s offer of forgiveness through trusting Christ. It also describes the Christian doctrine about Christ as a whole. It can even refer to faithfulness in character.
    2. Paul may have highlighted his love and faith, since Philemon would need these as he read on about the issue at hand.
    3. Still describing his prayer, Paul continued in v.6. He prayed that the communication or sharing of Philemon’s faith might become effectual (i.e., active, powerful, or effective) by others acknowledging the Christlike good works that were in him.
    4. This too was causing Philemon to recall that his Christian testimony of sharing his faith was being observed by others.
    5. Therefore, his love, faith, and sharing would be put to the test when asked to reconcile with his runaway servant. In a kind and gentle manner, Paul was preparing Philemon for the topic he had not yet revealed.
    6. When we find ourselves in a similar situation of desiring reconciliation, we too ought to approach the other party in a similar kind and gentle manner.
    7. Paul tells us in (2 Corinthians 5:18) “And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;” In this Gospel context, God has given us as believers the ministry of seeking to reconcile sinners to God through faith in Jesus Christ. Even in this sort of reconciliation, a kind and gentle manner will make much better headway than a harsh, attacking approach. A person who has been attacked or put down is generally not in the mood for reconciliation with God. Yes, we must share the Gospel clearly and call for repentance, but we must be kind and gentle.
      Finally, we see this kind and gentle manner in

Paul’s Commendation, v.7

  1. He rejoiced and took comfort in Philemon’s love.
    1. Paul felt great joy or abundant thanks to God when he pondered Philemon’s love for the Lord and for all the saints.
    2. Philemon’s love was also a consolation (i.e., comfort, encouragement, or refreshment) to Paul.
    3. Paul wisely shared this thanks and comfort which he felt. In his heart, Paul believed that Philemon’s love for God and all the saints would cause him to be willing to reconcile with his runaway servant.
    4. While the description of his prayers was sincere, likely, Paul included these reminders to help soften Philemon’s heart.
  2. He praised Philemon’s compassion.
    1. When Paul spoke of bowels, he was speaking of one’s inner emotions or feelings. We might call it the feelings of our hearts.
    2. Evidently, Paul had heard that the saints who affiliated with Philemon had had their innermost emotions refreshed (i.e., calmed, quieted, or strengthened) by his conduct. Paul praised this.
    3. Once again, Paul called him “brother”, an endearing term (c.f., Phm 1:1).

Conclusion

As Paul approached the topic of reconciliation, he did so in a kind and gentle manner. The things he said were true and spoken from a sincere heart, but they were chosen to encourage and calm Philemon’s heart in preparation for reconciliation.

Here is the take home for you and me. When seeking reconciliation with a person, always begin the conversation in a kind and gentle manner. Commend them for their qualities and assure them of your prayers. Be sincere and loving.

When seeking to reconcile a sinner to God through faith in Christ, gently seek to reach his heart. An unknown author said, “A man convinced against his will, Is of the same opinion still.” True reconciliation results from a change of heart.

Song: Teach Me Thy Way, O Lord – 337
—
The Reconciliation Epistle – Approaching Reconciliation
3 March 2024 AM – Text: Philemon 1:1-7 – Topic: Reconciliation