Abraham Kuyper said, “He is your friend who pushes you nearer to God.” That is a wise statement. We all know what happens if we leave a rotten apple in a box of good apples. All the surrounding apples will soon become rotten too. The good apples never improve the rotten one. Likewise, the kind of friends you choose will have a great influence on your own life. Christians that constantly struggle to do right, to get victory over bad habits, and to grow spiritually usually have friends that are pulling them down rather than pushing them nearer to God.

King David knew the importance of surrounding himself with people who would push him nearer to God. As a result, in Psalm 101:6-7, he told the Lord that he would choose his friends carefully.

Transition

As we study David’s qualifications for friends, four qualities stand out that ought to govern our choice of friends as well.

Good Friends are Faithful (v.6)

  1. Evaluate your friend’s character.
    1. What did David mean by “faithful?” The word used here speaks of one who builds up, holds up, supports, or fosters as a parent.
    2. This kind of person is going to make you a better person. He is going to push you nearer to God.
    3. Faithful friends edify. They do not pull you down.
  2. What should we expect from a faithful friend?
    1. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived (other than Christ) said this about friends.
      1. (Proverbs 27:17) “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Faithful friends will sharpen your character and your walk with God.
      2. (Proverbs 13:20) “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” You will gain wisdom from faithful friends.
      3. (Proverbs 27:6) “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Faithful friends will say things to you that may hurt when you step out of line. They care enough to confront you when you sin.
    2. If your friends are not this kind of faithful Christian friend, you need to change friends. (1 Corinthians 15:33) “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” Your friends are NO EXCEPTION!

Good Friends Walk in an Upright Way (v.6)

  1. Examine your friend’s walk.
    1. David wanted friends that walked in a perfect way. Their “walk” speaks of their daily way of life. The word “perfect” does not mean sinless. It describes character that is sound, wholesome, or healthful.
    2. David wanted his friends and servants to be people of integrity. He looked for a person whose daily life was following a way that was morally sound, spiritually healthy and genuinely wholesome.
  2. Take time to observe before choosing a friend.
    1. Many paths in life are not wholesome. Examine how potential friends treat their spouse or talk to their parents. Do they obey the laws of the land? Do they go places Jesus would not go? What do they look at? What do they talk about? What do they do in their spare time?
    2. If a person’s daily life is not above reproach, that person will have a bad influence on your life as a friend.
    3. This is a time for self-examination as well. The old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together” is very true. If you attract friends that are not walking down wholesome paths in life, it is probably because you are walking that direction as well.

Good Friends are Dependable (v.7)

  1. Take note of how dependable your friend is.
    1. David said he wanted to befriend those who did not work deceit. The word “deceit” has various meanings. At its root, it means slack or lax. In Psalm 78:56, this word describes a deceitful bow that is slack and does not shoot an arrow properly. In Proverbs 12:27, it describes a slothful or lazy person. In Psalm 120:2, we find it describing a deceitful tongue.
    2. David was looking for friends that were dependable and that he could trust. They would not deceive him with their tongue. Nor would they be slothful or slack in their work.
    3. He did not want an undependable person working in his house as a servant.
  2. Choose only dependable friends.
    1. Some time ago, I was given a portable painting easel. It all folded down into a small carrying pack. It looked very impressive. I was excited, that is until I tried to assemble it. I discovered that it was very difficult to put together. I got so frustrated, that I eventually gave it away. Its looks were deceiving. Many unreliable friends are the same way.
    2. Is a person who is never on time, lacks ambition, and cannot be trusted really the kind of person you want as a friend? I don’t think so!
    3. A person who looks good on the outside, but who is lazy, deceitful, slack, and undependable on the inside will not make a good friend. They will only frustrate you.

Good Friends Tell the Truth (v.7)

  1. David did not want people around who told lies.
    1. Those who tell lies cannot be trusted.
    2. It is impossible to know if what that person says is the truth or a lie.
    3. David did not want any liars on his payroll. He said that liars would not tarry in his sight. The word “tarry” means to be firm or established. In other words, liars would not remain established in his sight. He would relieve them of their work. They would lose their jobs.
    4. David dealt sternly with liars, and so should we.
  2. Liars do not make good friends.
    1. While no one likes to be lied to, lying is a common part of many people’s conversations.
    2. People lie regularly to their spouse, to their children, to their parents, to their boss, to their friends and to the tax department. Pornography, unfaithfulness, cheating, stealing, and sins of every description hide behind lies.
    3. Many people have lied on a regular basis since early childhood. That is sad!
    4. Lying is a sin that parents must quash in their children from an early age. If you allow your children to lie, you are teaching them that lying is acceptable conduct. Lying ought to incur stern punishment every time.
    5. God tells us in Colossians 3:9, “Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;” Christians are to tell the truth!
    6. Lying offends God, ruins marriages, crushes children, and harms friendships. If you tell lies, you must break that sinful habit. Ask God to forgive you and beg Him for help to overcome that vice.

Conclusion

Among David’s qualifications for friends, we have found four qualities that ought to govern our choice of friends as well. His friends were edifying, they had a wholesome walk, they were dependable and they were truthful.

Apply these qualifications to your friends. How do they measure up? Do your friends push you closer to God? Are they sharpening you spiritually? Can you rely on them and trust them? If your friends are not what they ought to be, it is time to separate from them and find some new quality friends.

If your life does not display the qualities of a good friend, you need God’s help to change. If you are not yet a genuine Christian, that is where you must begin.

Song: Teach Me Thy Way, O Lord – 337
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Choosing Friends
16 April 2023 AM – Psalm 101:6-7 – Friends – Scott Childs