God’s Recipe for Finding a Godly Spouse

28 September 2014 AM – Genesis 24:1-67 – Gen 14 – Scott Childs

Introduction: A recipe is a list of ingredients and instructions for making something. If the recipe is accurate and you follow it exactly, the result will be the same each time. In Genesis 24, God gives us His recipe for finding a godly spouse.

Transition: In this chapter, I found seven ingredients in God’s recipe for finding a godly spouse for Isaac that I want to share with you this morning. This recipe is for both young people and parents.

1.        Parental Input (Gen 24:2-9)

a.         Abraham was actively involved

1)         Isaac submitted to his father’s leadership. He did not rebel and find his own spouse.

2)         Abraham sent his godly servant to find a wife for Isaac. This was a serious event (v.2-4).

b.         Parents ought to be actively involved

1)         The Bible does not say that parents must choose their children’s spouses. However, from Bible examples we learn the importance of parental involvement.

2)         Parents are older and wiser than young adult children.

(Proverbs 23:22) “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.”

3)         Get your child’s heart when he/she is still young.

(Proverbs 23:26) “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.”

2.        Spiritual Harmony (Gen 24:3-4, 37)

a.         Abraham insisted on a God-fearing woman

1)         The Canaanites were godless wicked people. Abraham did not want his son to marry one of them. He was very firm about this (v.3-4).

2)         Rebekah’s family was not perfect, but they feared God.

b.         Never even consider an unbeliever

1)         A truly happy marriage is built on spiritual harmony.

2)         There is NO spiritual harmony between a believer and an unbeliever. That is the reason God said:

(Amos 3:3) “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

(2 Corinthians 6:14) “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

3.        Physical Maturity (Gen 24:67, 25:20)

a.         Isaac waited until maturity

1)         Isaac was now 40 years old. Life spans were longer in those days and this was evidently a proper mature age for marriage. Esau (Gen 26:34) was also 40 when he married.

2)         He was mature enough to provide for a wife.

b.         Never seek a spouse until maturity

1)         The “boyfriend/girlfriend” habits of our culture are not found in the Bible.

2)         Paring off (dating) before maturity and serious thought of marriage always leads to a host of problems.

a)         It elevates feeling above character.

b)         It takes a youths focus off of God.

c)         It places a wedge between child and parents.

d)         It promotes divorce by cycles of dating and breakup.

e)         It causes emotional heartache.

f)          It leads to loss of purity and virginity.

g)         It always produces regrets.

4.        Prayerful Inquiry (Gen 24:7, 12-14, 27, 63)

a.         Abraham, the servant and Isaac depended on God

1)         Abraham’s faith was based on God’s past performances and promises, v.7. He also believed in divine guidance.

2)         The servant prayed specifically for God’s direction and guidance, v.12-14. Then he bowed, worshipped, and praised God for answered prayer, v.27, 52.

3)         Isaac was meditating in the field when Rebekah arrived, v.63. The word for meditating includes the idea of communing and speaking. He too was thinking and talking to God about a bride.

b.         Pray much for God’s leading

1)         We must not underestimate the importance of prayer. Begin praying for their future spouse when your children are young and teach them to do the same.

2)         As maturity nears, begin praying for wisdom and direction. Other than salvation, there is no decision in life as important as finding God’s choice in a spouse.

(James 1:5) ” If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

5.        Moral Purity (Gen 24:16, 65-67)

a.         Rebekah and Isaac kept themselves pure

1)         Rebekah was a virgin.

2)         They had no dates and no touching.

3)         Their relationship was built on spiritual oneness (v.4), character (v.14), and God’s direction (v.27) rather than on appearance, passion, and lust.

b.         Purity has no regrets

1)         Young people, flee youthful lust and keep your purity until marriage.

(2 Timothy 2:22) “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

2)         Remember, “Purity is the pursuit of righteousness” (J. Harris)

3)         You will never regret keeping pure until marriage, but thousands regret losing their purity.

6.        Personal Peace (Gen 24:58, 67)

a.         God gave both Rebekah and Isaac peace

1)         When asked if she would go and become Isaac’s wife without delay, Rebekah said, “I will go!” She had never been to Canaan. She had never seen Isaac nor heard his voice. She went by faith because God gave her peace.

2)         God gave Isaac peace and he accepted the bride God selected for him. Notice in v.66-67 the order of events. 1) He heard how God answered prayer, 2) He brought her to the tent, 3) He took her (term that includes marriage), 4) She became his wife, 5) He loved her. Love is a choice.

b.         Never proceed without God’s peace

1)         A preacher told the story of a couple he had married. Later he heard that just before the wedding the bride had said to her father, “This is a mistake.” But to avoid embarrassment, she went ahead with the marriage. After only a short time, the marriage ended in heartache.

2)         Never proceed with marriage without God’s peace. Parents should have God’s peace. The bride and groom should have God’s peace.

7.        Biblical Commitment (Gen 24:2-4, 67)

a.         Marriage was the plan from the very start

1)         Christians must not get their view of marriage from the world. The world says that marriage is just a piece of paper. The world says “Try it before you buy it.” The world shamelessly accepts living together in cohabitation.

2)         From the start, Abraham told his servant to find a WIFE for Isaac not a girlfriend. Rebekah went to become Isaac’s WIFE. On the day they met, Isaac took Rebekah as his WIFE.

3)         Marriage is a life-long, unbreakable covenant.

(Matthew 19:5-6) “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

b.         God blesses marriage not cohabitation

(Hebrews 13:4) “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

1)         Determine to marry before intimacy.

2)         Determine to be faithful to your spouse for life.

3)         Determine to keep your vows and work at marriage even if it gets difficult.

Conclusion: Young people, God will bless you if you follow His recipe for finding a spouse. Parents, if you will begin early, you can help your children follow God’s recipe.

Song: Have Thine Own Way – 388